So, how do you create space? I like to think of it as drawing margins on everything you do. It arises when you have the space and time to let it. It can take plenty of other forms, but the quality of relaxation is the same. not stressing that you hit a red light, because that just means more time to listen to your favorite album.taking a stroll on your lunch break instead of wrapping up one more deliverable.leisurely sipping your tea with 10 minutes to spare before you walk out the door for the day.It’s not forcing, vying, or competing.īy creating space, you’re eliminating the likelihood that you’ll have to engage in one of these activities, whether it’s competing for a parking space, hurrying the kids out the door, or rushing to clock in at work.īy contrast, relaxation may look something like this: Relaxation is not hurrying, rushing, or racing the clock. I’ll tell you some things that relaxation is not. That way when stress sets in, I’m more prepared to handle it.Ĭreating space is my first step for cultivating the skill of relaxation. These tools have helped me develop the practice of relaxation so that, more and more, it can be my default state. Instead of expecting to be able to flip relaxation on and off like a light switch, I’ve learned tools to gently bring myself into a relaxed state. In fact, trying to force myself to relax has often made my stress and tension worse. I can’t count how many times I’ve admonished myself to relax, only to find that my scolding wasn’t doing its job. While that can be a little disappointing, it can also be a relief. It’s not a spell or incantation that can magically induce a state of calm, and it’s not a button you can press to suddenly go into chill mode. So much of that depends on context, but it also depends on how well you’ve developed the skill of relaxation. You’ve likely been told to relax at some point in your life - whether by a massage therapist setting the mood, a well-meaning partner trying to help, or that friend who always seems to stay cool no matter what happens.Īs a mom, I’ve said it to my kid at least a hundred times, to little effect.īeing told to relax can be an invitation. Share on Pinterest Illustration by Brittany England
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